1 . Take good care of yourself
Being a parent takes lots of energy and patience. Getting rest, eating well and finding support will help our family be the best we can be.
2 . Be Bigger, Stronger, Wiser, and Kind
The heart of secure attachment is when I know I have a parent who can be counted on to lovingly provide tenderness, comfort, guidance and protection everyday.
3 . Perfection is impossible, aim for “good enough” in parenting.
Parenting takes practice. Give yourself time to enjoy the journey of parenthood and remember these are guidelines. We are both learning as we go!
4 . Talk out loud to me about feelings.
The sound of your calm voice helps me feel safe, and I start to learn language. When I hear you talk about feelings (yours and mine), I will start to understand feelings.
5 . Stay with me when I’m unsettled
You might not be able to make everything right for me, but by staying with me, or asking someone else to stay with me until I feel okay again, you teach me I am not alone.
6 . You can’t spoil me, I’m a baby!
It is impossible to spoil me in the first few months by responding to my needs, especially my need to be comforted. When I’m really little, I only ask for what I need.
7 . Follow my need.
Responding to my need for attention, comfort and exploration helps me know I can count on you. Knowing I can rely on you helps me to feel secure as I grow up.
8 . Gaze into my eyes.
Lots of eye contact will help me feel reassured and connected to you. At about six weeks, I will begin to focus in and read what your eyes are “saying”. My attachment to you grows with this communication.
9 . I need to be held.
Holding me gives me pleasure, comfort and security. It also helps me learn how to be soothed and feel calm. I soak up affection and love with gentle touch.
10 . Delight in me.
I was born ready to experience joy with my parent. Sharing joy helps my brain to grow. I feel more secure knowing that “Life is good, because my parents enjoy life when they are with me.”